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Exploring their fantasies is at the center of their marriage
Or if they can be combined.
There are lots of answers, all swimming around in my head, at the same time. But none taking root.
Me: I'm a nymphomaniac, apparently. According to certain statistics. And so I wear my sexuality like a musk, I can't contain it, it leaks out, bursts out, covering my life, including the part of it that's you, in a milky glow, and there's not much I can do about it. I always wanted to connect with you, be part of you. Crawl inside your brain and curl up there. But you were always just out of reach, just going away any minute, mostly untouchable. And then the unexpected happened, I couldn't believe it, dreamlike, stimulating. Thrill washing through me, I was overwhelmed, captivated even more than ever. Because something triggered something, and your mind was more exposed to me than I'd thought possible, and your mind connected to your body, and all of it, all of you, was perfection, a kind of sacredness - incredible, like all human connection found in one being. So when you said to make it stop, for your sake, mine, everybody else's, I couldn't, just couldn't. I tried, but the pull was too strong, the taste hypnotic. A drug. I didn't feel guilt (maybe this brain is just twisted enough not to be able to, regarding you.) Like some kind of destiny, halfway right, halfway meant to be... my insides, outsides, whole self being satisfied, but then driven wild with greater appetite, satisfaction becoming craving, becoming satisfaction, turning back to extreme craving, then fulfillment, over and over.
You: You simply say you have addictions, you lack control. When your addiction met my passion, and they recognized each other, that was it. Convergence. No control for anyone. Now, you live in a state of panic of "us" being discovered, of your life crashing around your head, your future plans shattered, because of this, because of me. I would fix it for you, if I could. And that's why I analyze, to try to understand. You say you can get it all - this day to day stuff that we share - and more, with a good porn site. That there's no emotion involved whatsoever, no emotional connection to the actual person, the "me". But then, that being said, what I don't understand is - why you seem to want more, why your continued appetite for the virtual... me? Why instead of just perusing a site, you'll reach me? (And proceed to "make my day" I might add.) You said once, "The mind behind it." That's a logical point, and frankly, very high praise, the "stuff of Anthony and Cleopatra". It moves me, does more for me than having my body raved over. The mind, the mind is a powerful thing. However, you could still have my mind, without "partaking" of my body. You know that. Yet here we always are.
So, another factor: customization.