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We end up fulfilling several fantasies.

I told him that I was heartily sorry for my wickedness, and in a desperate plight, for my coach would depart for Aberdeen in the morning, and how was I to get on it? He said I must be taken before the Magistrate to answer charges of lewd and libidinous behaviour offensive to the lieges, and I pleaded my youth and inexperience. In the end he took pity on me and for a fee he agreed to take me before a Bailie who might be persuaded to attend to my case early in the morning. And so it proved, for the Bailie grunting and slobbering over his porridge called me a desperate rogue, whoremaster etc., fined me heavily, and with severe warnings had me run through the streets and thrown on to my coach by the Constable. . .

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to Charles Newall, Esq

from Ensign William Newall

83rd Regiment of Foot

Co. Monaghan, Ireland

9th October 1970

My poor simple brother, you have been plucked like a pigeon. Small wonder they say the fool of the family is sent into the ministry. Do you not see, man, that the Bailie, the Bulkie and Betty the whore -- aye, and the potboy too -- were leagued together to rob you? You should have paid off the constable and whore, cutting out the magistrate, who always takes the lion's share. Go back to Dundee and I'll warrant you will find your Betty still plying her trade in the Nethergate, when she should have been whipped from the town.

I would not advise you to go back to her, though, for you will surely be cozened again. If you must continue your education, seek out a sporting woman next time, and propose a game of Put-and-Take. This is where you put five shillings (as it might be) under her pillow for a start, then you put in another shilling each time that you spend, and take one out every time that she is fetched. Ply yourself manfully, and you may have cheap accommodation indeed! In any event, she will have no reason to call in her bully.

As to money, it happens I can make you a loan, for the cards fell my way last night -- though why I should pay for your failed lecheries I do not know. In return I would ask you to beg mother -- she has a soft spot for you -- to persuade father to buy me a lieutenancy. There is one to be had in Sebright's Regiment, and I can sell my Ensign's commission easily enough. When this war comes to an end I shall be on half-pay, and he knows well what that means.

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to Ensign William Newall

from Charles Newall

Marischal College

Aberdeen, N.B.

8th January 1761

Well William,

Here I am back in the groves of academe, exhausted even before the Lammas term has started.

I resolved to attempt your famous game of Put-and-Take with one of Dundee's sporting women, though the stakes she proposed were a good deal higher than I had anticipated. I thought however that as a theology student I must have the advantage of her in our contest, for I reasoned that I could concentrate my mind on certain passages in Leviticus, and so outlast her and come off (so to say!) a winner. Sadly, I was undone by her most shameless and stimulating practices before I could bend my mind to matters theological. What was worse, when I thought that the natural exhaustion of my spirits would limit my expenses, she used her wanton meretricious wiles to rouse me to further expensive endeavours despite all my philosophy.

In sum, I was most effectually drained in both body and purse and by morning was so tired I could scarce climb up into the coach for Aberdeen.

*

to Charles Newall

from Ensign William Newall

83rd Regt. Of Foot

Co. Monaghan, Ireland

14th January 1761

Alas, Charles! Amorous subtleties are not for you.

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