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Quite self-descriptive, with some kink attached.
I was the star of my own little gay porno! Glad nobody could see me!
I discretely chucked out the carrot and chalked the morning up to an interesting new experience. But then the next morning, right after Dad drove away down the street, something came over me. I went back to the kitchen and grabbed the Curly-sized carrot. I was halfway to my room when I decided to grab the second-biggest too. I nicknamed him Charlie- not after anyone in particular, just seemed like a good name.
I wanted to make the session last for a bit so I started out gently, but lust overcame me pretty quickly. I squatted down on Charlie and throated Curly. Then I got myself on all fours and drove Charlie in deep. It was when I was on my back, legs in the air, ramming the carrot in me while I was still sucking like a whore on the other one, that I realised a couple of things.
Firstly, I wasn't paying any attention to the outside world when I was doing this little spit-roast display.
Secondly, I'd left my bedroom door wide open.
And thirdly, my old man had come back for something, and was now standing in the doorway watching his nineteen year old pride and joy doing something he probably didn't even know you could do with two carrots.
It was the worst moment of my life. I pulled Charlie out, dropped Curly, started mumbling all sorts of crap, tried to cover up with my blankets. My old man's expression was completely unreadable- I think it was shock more than anything.
"I, uh, I forgot my phone." he said.
"Oh." I said, now deeply under the blankets.
There was an awkward pause. Then Dad said, unexpectedly, "I'm gonna put the kettle on. Come have a coffee with me when you're ready."
I was never gonna be ready. But eventually I put some shorts on, hid Charlie and Curly under some tissues in my bin and walked out to the kitchen. Dad was sitting at the bench, his tie undone, with two cups of coffee ready. I sat down, avoiding eye-contact.
"So..." Dad began.
"I'm not gay!" I blurted out.
"It's ok, Josh. It'd be ok if you were gay, and it's ok if you're not and you just like doing that stuff." He said. He sounded weirdly calm.
"Are you... maybe bi?" he asked, taking a sip of his coffee a little too casually.
"Um, maybe? I'm curious but I've never done anything with a bloke. And I really like Mary."
"Ha! Yeah, I can tell that much, you're always on the damn phone to her." He chuckled.
"Ok Josh, I'm going to tell you something and I'd like it to stay between us. Inga knows but other than her and a few friends I keep this to myself." Dad said.
"Ok." I said, completely unsure where this was going. Did dad get Inga to put on a strap-on and do him up the arse?
"I'm bi." He said.
"You what now?" I said. "Like with blokes and stuff?" I know I sounded stupid but I just couldn't picture it. My dad's a very blokey bloke. He's not homophobic at all but I just never imagined he'd even consider that sort of stuff with another man.
"Yeah mate. Me and Nubs... well, we have an arrangement." Nubs was Dad's best mate, and, I'd thought, straight as an arrow. He was also a pretty good-looking bloke for his age, kept in shape a lot. The thought of Nubs giving it to another guy, or copping it in the arse, was baffling. But also a bit arousing.
"It started when we were a bit older than you. We were flatmates back then, used to watch porn together, one thing led to another. So whenever one of us has a dry spell in the bedroom we just help each other out."
I wasn't sure what to say. Mostly I think I got out "Oh." And "Wow" and "Thanks for telling me."
After a bit though, I had to ask...
"Uh, dunno if I should ask, but you guys do, like, bum stuff?"
Dad went a bit red for the first time and studied his coffee.
"Uh, yeah mate."
"Do you like, give it or take it?"
"We both do both."
I felt weird about it, but I had a massive stiffy at this point.