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For over a year, I wouldn't let anything like this happen, though I have had the opportunity with guys flirting and buying me a drink." She took a deep swallow of her coffee and put her cup down on the table and looked into my eyes.
"What was different?" I asked.
"It was intuition. When our eyes met and I felt a smile come over me, I knew I wanted you. I hadn't felt that urge for a man in over a year so I just followed my intuition."
"Are you sure you weren't just horny-I mean after over a year of not fucking."
"Positive. I wasn't horny when I walked in but when I saw you, I got really turned on, but, like I said, it was more than lust."
"You were dressed pretty provocatively" I said, "Like you wanted action. Those tight jeans and tank top didn't leave much to the imagination."
"I like being sexy," Sarah said. "I love my body and I love my mind and I like being in control."
"Are you a tease?" I asked.
"Maybe, I guess so. Yes, I like turning guys on. But lately, like I said. I've been in a kind of hibernation. Still, I like when guys look at me but I never let anything happen."
"That's pretty dangerous isn't it-turning guys on--teasing?" I asked.
"Yes and that's exciting to me. The danger," she said. "But like I said, I am always in control. No one fucks me unless I want it."
"You're pretty complicated," I said.
"Yes and you like that don't you," she said. "I could tell you liked when I said I was insatiable and you said you were going to make me beg me to stop-you liked the challenge and that's when I was sure you were someone I could be interested in---the first guy in a long time." She paused and looked me in the eye. "You weren't afraid of me and you knew you could control me-- that excited me very much. Most men are afraid of me."
"Why did that excite you?" I asked.
"Because you made me your slut," she said. "I'm not a slut but no one has ever reached that secret place in me, a place I keep hidden and you got me so out of my mind with lust, I wanted you to fuck me into oblivion. I wanted to give my whole body to you. I wanted to lose control with you. I felt how generous and powerful you are. You gave me what I needed, something no one else has."
"So, what's your story, Sarah?" I asked, taking a bite of my toast. "I'm curious how you came to be so complicated."
"I grew up in a very conservative family in New Jersey, you know, church every Sunday, choir practice on Thursday nights. I was expected to be a good girl and not have sex until I was married, but I loved to sing jazz and I took modern dance and performed in high school musicals. I liked letting loose in my singing and dancing." She took a bite of her eggs and toast, a sip of coffee and looked at me. "But I lost my virginity at a party in the back of this guy's car and loved the feeling and so I dated him and we fucked a lot. My good girl days were behind me." She paused, took a sip of her coffee.
"What do you mean, your good girl days were behind you?" I asked then took a bite of my eggs.
"I realized that I didn't like being a good girl and living other people's expectations. I loved sex and pleasure and left home to go to college-actually I went to art school and though I still loved to dance and sing, painting and pottery became my passion. I'm an artist and have a studio in Soho."
"Great," I said. "So you followed your passion, too, like me."
"I loved the freedom of being on my own in New York. I met some cool guys but you know, I found that the guys I fucked, we're disappointments after awhile--selfish and egotistical. I wanted more than they could give me, more than just fucking."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I wanted a man who really knew me and cared about me and didn't just want to get their rocks off," she said.