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Two weekend nihilists make a new friend.
Is coming in another woman's mouth that bad? You don't have to tell Janet, but who knows maybe you should. Is growing sexually that bad? Trying new things? Do you really want to do the old fashioned missionary assembly line, fuck your wife thing all your life, or would you rather explore, and still have a happy marriage? Come up to the room tonight and see for yourselves. You're not obligated to do anything. We don't bite, much."
Okay, now, I had all the right words to respond before she started consoling me, but the more she spoke, the more she destroyed my response. I mean what was I going to say, "No! You're wrong, I want to continue fucking my wife like the pioneers did a hundred and fifty years ago?" Never in my life had I been given such a profound dissertation, so pointed toward the reality, "It's okay to feel good sexually. It's not a crime. It's acceptable."
No! That didn't exactly mean I had lost my marbles, although she did make undeniable sense. Granted, I was primed to hear "It's Okay" from the moment it started, in any form... However, It's not like you can take the same comfort words, cheat on your wife, just because it excites you, and somehow the words "It's Okay," makes it okay.
I would have given anything for Janet to break beyond her traditional bounds, but saying "Hey, Baby, I just shot five-hundred million sperm into Marie's throat and stomach, how cool is that?" It simply wasn't an option?
In my internal battle over right and wrong, and everything Marie had said, she walked toward the bathroom saying, "That's the cooler, the one by the bathroom door. It's full of wine."
I practically jumped to it hoping to get out of the room, and back to the safety of the pool. I began replying "Got it, and yes, we'll try to make it tonight. One last thing, please, please, please, don't say anything about this. Regardless of how comforting the words were, if Janet even got a hint of it, she would freak."
She then quickly spun around and exited the bathroom nonchalantly saying "Stop it. You worry too much. Of course I wouldn't say anything." That was somewhat of a relief, but I knew I'd have to deal with the guilt.
We then exited the room, walked down the hall, hit the back stairs, and ended the journey much as it had begun, at the bottom of the stairs. The minute we reached poolside, I slammed the cooler down and jumped into the pool, wanting to wash as much guilt off me as I possibly could. Like a jump scene in a horror flick, I came right up in front of Janet. I didn't actually notice where she was before diving in, but turns out she was already in the pool. The instant she watched me dive in, she bolted for me, and up I surfaced right into her arms.
She giggled profusely as I jumped back, saying "Dang, you look like you've seen a ghost. It's you wife, silly."
I quickly replied "Oh! Hey, Baby! I knew it was you, I didn't want to mow you over with that prize winning dive."
She laughed replying "Oh yeah, you get the brown medal for that dive, but I still love ya."
She then began inquiring "Damn, did you have to age the wine? What took so long?"
This was the moment of truth. I had never lied to Janet outright, but I knew full well I couldn't tell her what had transpired, the whole truth. I figured I'd tell it in such a way that she'd say, "Oh she flirted with you? We're fucking out of here."
Chapter IV: Janet's Awakening
As I began to explain "You're not going to believe what's going on at this Hotel. All these people are..."
When instantly, and just as I got to the word "Are" she interrupted blurting, "Did you know this was a swinger hotel, that all these people are swingers?"
Now, I'm an attorney, and have been taught to thwart and deal with any unexpected comment, but this rendered me a kindergartner. I was speechless as I wiped the water from my face, finally replying surprised and straight faced "It's a what, Hotel?"
She jokingly covered her mouth and pressed her face to mine saying "It's a swinger hotel.