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Melissa didn't know her PA was a lesbian.


"Sounds reasonable, a little morning tryst is always good."

"I liked the afternoon better."

"You fucked in the afternoon too?"

"Well, not exactly. We started in the morning and the next thing I knew it was afternoon."

"You fucked all day long?"

"Well, what else was there to do Frank?"

"I don't know, go shopping?"

"And buy what Frank, a goddamn carved elephant?"

"I see you're point. Well, one day in the life, I'm glad you had a good time."



"It was for seven days."

"Say what?"

"Well, you know how I am with math Frank. Fucking exchange rate crap anyway."

"I see, so you fucked every day for seven days?"


"All day long?"


"Well, what's a week in the long view I guess."



"I traded your American League baseball card collection."

"Jesus! What for?"

"Another seven days."

"That's fourteen days Maxine.

"Well, it's just like you said Frank, what's a couple of weeks in the scheme of things."

"Of course, a fortnight here a fortnight there, what difference could it make.



"The American League really goes with the National League."

"Another seven days Maxine?"


"Christ, Maxine, good thing I didn't leave you with anything else."



"Your credit was good."

"How good was it?"

"What's today?"

"It's the sixth."

"Last month had thirty one days?"


"What day did you leave?"

"The twenty eighth of the month before."

"How many days is it from the twenty-eighth of the month before to the fifth of this month?"


"And thirty-nine minus twenty-one?"


"Sounds about right."

"You fucked for eighteen extra days Maxine?"


"With no days off?"

"What was I gonna do with a day off, Frank?"

"Well, I guess the fun is in the collecting. No use to have the National League if you don't have the American league. That still leaves me with eighteen days to pay for."



"What's half of thirty nine?"

"Nineteen and one half, why?"

"Well, a day is from nine to five with a half hour for lunch."


"From eight to midnight is another half day."

"Just to be clear, Maxine. You fucked from nine to five and from eight to midnight for thirty-nine straight days?


"That's twelve hours a day for thirty-nine straight days, Maxine."

"If you say so."

"That's a lot of fucking, Maxine."


"No, I mean, that's a lot of fucking, Maxine."

"Oh come on Frank, It's not like it was all just one constant furious humpfest for crying out loud."

"No, of course not."

"Oh no, it's good to go slow sometimes too."

"Slow is good."

"Real good."

"I guess a guy would get tired."

"Frank, what is thirty nine divided by three?"

"I think I'm getting tired of math, Maxine."

"I know what you mean. I just left it up to them to keep it straight. Oh my, "keep it straight." Did you get that one, Frank?"

"Oh yeah, looks like I been getting one for about a month now."

""Oh, I know, Frank! Thirty-nine divided by three is eleven."

"No Maxine, thirty-nine divided by three is thirteen."

"I don't understand. How could that be?"

"Three of them had the same name, Maxine."

"I don't get it."

"Trust me, Maxine, if you fucked a different guy every three days for thirty-nine days you fucked thirteen guys."

"Well, whatever, it was them that was doing most of the fucking anyway. After all, that is what I was paying for."

"Oh, you're going to pay all right."

"What did you say, Frank?"

"I said you should always get what you pay for all right."

"Damn straight, and the quality was there, Frank. Size does matter, Frank and you know what it's like when you're young."

"And strong."

"That's right. It's just like in the animal kingdom, Frank. You know, like on the spaghetti plains in Italy."

"That's the Serengeti Plain, Maxine. It's in Africa."

"Whatever, a stallion is a stallion, Frank."

"And a mare is a mare."

"And what is that supposed to mean? Is that one of those double entry things, Frank?

"It's entendre Maxine, double

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