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A blowjob doesn't solve everything.

You're gonna look amazing when I'm done. Put these on and come with me," She handed me a black lace thong and 3 inch black pumps.

With considerable effort I put them on and wobbled into the bathroom after her. She motioned me to sit down next to her at the vanity, which I did.

Sitting on a stool in her blue silk robe, Lilla had an array of girl stuff spread out on the counter in front of her. She tapped her lips with an index finger, found what she wanted and dove in. She made me up. She put fake fingernails on me and painted them a light burgundy; colored, not natural so I'd know they were there, she said. Applied to my face whatever it is that women apply. When she was done she pulled out a dazzling, dark purple wig and secured it to my head as I closed my eyes and thought, "I must be nuts."

With a final touch here and there Lilla beamed, spun my stool to the mirror and exclaimed with a flourish, "Ta daa!"

Astounding. From the mirror, a woman stared back. I was speechless. I have somewhat androgynous features and Lilla's deft hand with makeup camouflaged masculinity and accentuated femininity, eyelids, lashes, eyebrows, cheekbones, lips. A delicate black lace choker to hide my Adam's apple. Tasteful dangly earrings. Rich, dark plum colored shoulder length hair, feathered bangs parted stylishly. I gently shook my head and my silky hair swayed easily with my movements, the highlights dancing in the bright vanity light. I felt the wavering tug of the earrings. I was dumbfounded.

Lilla spoke reverently, "Oh my god baby, you're prettier than I ever imagined you'd be. This is amazing. You're beautiful. Stand up, let me look at you."

I stood up and looked in the mirror not believing what I saw. A slender, flat chested, decent looking, if not leaning toward hot, babe. My cock stiffened some.

"Fuck yeah, baby, that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!" Lilla crowed, rubbed my cock, kissed me long and hard.

"Okay, bitch," she said sternly, laughed, then playfully, "Just kidding, baby. Come on, let's hang out. Go on downstairs and turn on HGTV or the Oxygen channel and I'll be down in a sec."

I stumbled to the den, sat down on the recliner in my sexy outfit and lovely dark purple hair, my semi-hardon tenting my skirt some despite the thong, and turned on ESPN SportsCenter.

"No dearie," Lillie sighed as she entered the room still wearing her silk robe, "Girls don't watch sports by themselves, they watch decorating shows or chick flicks. Here, I made you a mimosa," she said as she took the remote and changed the channel to Pretty Woman showing on Lifetime, then left the room. I sighed, gave a small head shake at the TV, and was surprised to notice the pull and sway of the earrings, and the hair that flicked around my face and on my neck felt kind of nice, sexy even.

Lilla returned and said in a lowered voice, "Give me the remote, bitch," and giggled. She wore baggy chinos, an untucked long sleeve denim shirt and her lug soled hiking shoes. She'd slicked her hair back with some sort of jell. She looked nowhere near as manly as I did feminine.

"Come 'ere, lil' darlin," she said as she patted the couch. I sat down next to her and she pulled me in for a kiss, taking command of the remote.

"I've been waiting all day for this game, sugar dumplin'. Now I know you don't really understand football, cupcake, but it's a big game. Man, I hope we cross the plate all day long. We need a big win. Hey puddin', how about gettin' me a cold one."

"Jeez," I thought as I made my way to the kitchen. I fumbled around and finally used a knife to pop the tab because I couldn't figure out how to open it with my lovely light burgundy nails.

"Here, baby," I said flatly as I gave her the beer.

Lilla caressed my rear as I sat down, "Gotdamn, baby! You got the sweetest ass I ever seen on you're little backside, there."

We watched the game and at halftime Lilla muted the TV, said, "Come 'ere, mamacita, gimme

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