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An impromptu dirty phonecall.


He shook his head and poured himself another drink.

"As I can well imagine she would," Connor said with his typical fastidiousness.

"Per'aps so," the man said with a shrug. "Still, she came around."

"Oh?" Batterton asked with as much ease as he could muster.

"Aye," the man said. "Well, ye be knowing women."

Not our lawyer friend. The poor man had loved only two women and them from afar. He had never approached either one to my certain knowledge, and was about to pass into his fourth decade with his life unsullied by romance. I decided to save Batterton from having to make further inquiry.

"Come, man," I said. "You can hardly expect us to settle for a tale that incomplete in exchange for your rum."

He smiled.

"'Tis a fair point, lad. One day we be out mendin' sail. I gave her the freedom of the cabin on those days, after removin' all the weapons, o' course.

"The lookout spots a ship, far away, ye see, so I returns to fetch me glass. From the cabin. And what do I find in there but her ladyship, her skirts raised to her hips, her bloomers dropped to her knees, a-workin' her hand in and out o' her cunny."

"A woman?"

Batterton was shocked. Connor and I traded looks. The pirate simply chuckled again.

"Do ye believe, laddie, that only men have the fever?"

"Of course."

Batterton apparently was quite willing to expose his ignorance.

"Ye'll just have to take my word for it then, son," the man said before continuing.

"She be workin' herself into a right state, you see, and she don't notice me at first. So I walks toward her like, just watchin.' And I get to no further away than I am from you gents, and suddenly she opens her eyes and sees me and lets out this little shriek. Not a scream, mind you, just this little 'oh!'

"'Afternoon, yer Ladyship,' I say. "Don't let me keep ye from your needs."

"'I need it, so badly,' she says. Her voice like a whisper."

"By now, I was standing right in front of her. She takes her one free hand and starts rubbing the front of me breeches. "

"'Ye be wantin' what's in there, miss?' I ask."

"She just nods, her eyes sort of glazed over. Meanwhile, she's rubbin' the both of us. So I reaches forward and pulls her hand away from herself, wet with her oils, and put it with the other hand.

"'Well, yer Ladyship, you take care of my needs first, eh? And then we'll see about yours. After all, the ship only has one captain, eh?'

"She can feel how hard I am by now, and her hands are desperately searching for the buttons."

"'Yes, captain,' she finally says with this sort o' whimper. She grabs me breeches by the waist and then she drops to her knees before me, pullin' em down as she goes.

"She groans and I feel her lips around me. Suckin' at my root, gents, like she'd never tasted anything better in her life."

"All two and twenty years of it?" Connor whispered with a groan of his own. He looked down again at the open watch on the table.

The man looked over with a wink.

"She was five and twenty then. Those young red lips, boys, that long, wet tongue. I swear ye never felt its like, gen'lemen. I thought sure she'd suck me spendin' right out o' me. Right down her gullet.

"And then while I was just on the edge, so to speak, she stands up and pulls 'er dress right over 'er 'ead. Drops her shift, drops her bloomers and there she is, stark naked in front of me.

"Now me, cabin, gents, 'as a window in the door what looks out on deck. And she leans against the door and pushes that arse back at me."

"'Take me, captain,' she says. 'Take me while I watch your crew. So I ain't about to say, no, am I, like? So I steps up behind her and plunge my prick into her cunny, all tight and wet and grasping, don't you know? It's like she 'ad muscles there could grab hold of it and milk it all by themselves. She starts buckin' back and forth like a 'orse."

"So I just grabbed me a-hold o' them magnificent breasts o' hers -- you can see 'em in the drawing, gents -- and held on for the ride.

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